Social Networking and the Fake Baller: Together at Last

I've been on Twitter for a little over a year now and there's one thing that never ceases to amaze/annoy me: The Twitter Baller. If you're a member of the site, you may have come across him or her, and if not, don't fret; this person is also a member of facebook and myspace. You may see photos of money fanned out on his or her bed, photos of this person with expensive designer clothing on with a caption that reads "What U kn0 b0Ut Cafoofie Noonie? NuTtin, cuz they don't sell iT in dA UsA! Exclusive!" (the fake baller loves to use the word exclusive.)

Following a fake baller on Twitter is both a joy and a pain for me. As fascinating as it is to see a person hype up their imaginary life, it starts to become frustrating to listen to such obvious lies, like watching a VH1 reality show. Adding one usually happens by accident. Maybe a friend suggested him on a Follow Friday or the person started following me and I reciprocated when they laughed at something I said (it's the polite thing to do after all). Afterwards, I'm told that they're out in the "hottest" spot's VIP "poppin bottles" on a Wednesday night, drinking Nuvo, Patron, Ciroc, whatever the latest drink is that your favorite hip hop artist mentioned in a song. (Surprisingly, there's never a twitpic to back it up.)

I'm not saying this person is lying in every tweet, but if you're having such a great time buying expensive wares, drinking alcohol us peons can't afford and doing stuff we "don't know about", why are you twittering? Don't you have a life of luxury to lead?

Here's the deal. Downing $3 Bud Lights on College Night is not "poppin bottles". It's cute and clever to caption a picture or two with that, but don't go posting it on the internet like it's the truth.

I've followed Miley Cyrus and have gotten more out of it than following a fake baller. Oprah's got a million followers and I have never once heard her tweet about poppin bottles! I seriously doubt anyone else finds you a joy to follow, unless they want to get in your bed/credit-less, empty wallet or of course, they're a fake baller themselves.