He Ain't Heavy...He's My Black, Reality TV Brother

I've noticed that lately people are overusing the phrase "a shame to our race." Ok...I'll just say it, lately we black people are overusing the phrase. I'll admit, I spat it out now and then when Flava Flav first hit the airwaves again on The Surreal Life. But with all the reality television that's out nowadays, a black chairman of the Republican National Committee, a somehow even blacker, half-black president and our own personal glass ceilings to break through, I think we can stop shirking away when we see Keshia Cole's mom polishing her grill on TV.

Of course it's natural to turn a little red when you realize you know the man downtown who asks business men for "a dolla to get back home, cuz I just got outta jail today, y'kna mean. So if you could just gimme 2 dollas, it would help a lot man, cuz I need some Pampers for my baby so yo' three dollas would really help." But as I've grown to realize over the years, his hustle, doomed as it may be, is not my fault. The businessman, if he has any sense, isn't looking at me thinking, "come get your peoples," but rather seeing through the beggar's lie and since this is the northeast, probably feeling guilty for his own white privilege and scooping up change as fast as he can as a mass apology. And even if he was looking at me that way, screw him!

But claiming "shame" on black celebrities is pretty much akin to seeing your parents dance at your sweet 16: there's NOTHING you can do about it. Sure, it's embarrassing, and you feel like you'll never recover after hearing the phrase "ya'll don't know nothin bout this" while they do the bump to "Whoomp! There it Is!" But you go back to school on Monday, your friends clown you, maybe do some impressions of it, and then someone's mom drops them off in rollers and you're off the hook. It doesn't bring "shame" upon the family or the race. That's a little dramatic, especially since you still love them.

Some people try to justify a lack of care for negative black imagery by saying something like, "well, you don't see white people getting embarrassed for The Hills or Larry the Cable Guy, so why should these people embarrass me?" While that's true, I don't think it's the right approach. Because for every Larry the Cable Guy gettin 'er dun, there's 15 positive white images on during the commercial breaks. Not to mention, white people don't necessarily have a history built for unifying as one. Matter of fact, the only times you see white people banding together in their whiteness is usually the last time you see anything.

So when you're watching "I Love Shuckin and Jiving" and Punkin spits in Spanakopita's face, stop wincing and overcompensating by claiming shame and remember what a positive image you yourself are. Maybe you graduated from college with honors, or you don't listen to rap music with offensive lyrics. Maybe you just look both ways before crossing the street. Whatever it is that reminds you that we may be "brothers" but we ain't clones.